From Tavie with Love

A collection of haikus from Tavie "Rhymes with Gravy" Phillips
From alt.tv.newsradio by Tavie
Sometime in the 1990s

Matthew falls down hard
Lands right on his- ow, what's that?
Those aren't his keys...
...
Hot, black, bitter steaming
cups of sarcasm feed
our News Director.
...
O, those dulcet tones.
Is Max on the air again?
Dear God, no! It's NPR!
...
The crack of the bat
The roar of the crowd-- oh, wait.
It's cracker time, kids!
...
Which burns more brightly:
The fourteenth floor afire?
Red-headed stepchild!
...
I'm not paranoid!
Those are aliens in hot-
air balloons, dammit!
...
Eighty-nine thousand
Two hundred eighty minutes
in juvie. Ed *who*???
...
"Where's the Beef?" -Dylan
Thomas, 1982.
Dump the damn rat, Dave.
...
Full lips. Slender legs.
Is Catherine back? Oh, god-
Dave! Take off my dress!
...
Nicole posts haikus
And we all can't help but laugh
Stop being so funny!
...
Ade stretches her mind
She knows nothing of ade-
quadaquatacism.
...
Rich started a thread;
I had to knot it all up.
What a tangled web...
...
That Sarah Gosling,
Flossie at Cheerful dot com,
needs some self esteem.
...
Just words on a screen
Blinking, blearing, but just words--
and somehow...it's Tavie.
...
Thus Djinifer Spake
Her words raining like popcorn
on the office floor
...
No longer friendless
nor virgin, but still quite pale.
His whole body's white!
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